How to help your child study (even if you don't understand the work)

Updated October 2026 · 6 min read

By high school, most parents hit the same wall: you open your child's Maths or Science book and none of it looks familiar. Maybe you did it thirty years ago, maybe you never did it at all. It's easy to feel that you can't help any more.

You can. Your child doesn't need you to be their teacher. They need someone who makes studying easier to start, notices when something is going wrong, and keeps them steady when the pressure is on. None of that needs you to know the subject.

This guide is for parents of learners in Grades 8 to 12, and it's written with exam season in mind.

You're not supposed to be the teacher

When a teenager is stuck on a question, the instinct is to sit down and try to work it out with them. If you don't know the work, that usually ends in frustration on both sides.

Your real job is different, and it matters more than knowing the answers:

• making it easier to sit down and start
• noticing early when a subject or topic is slipping
• getting them the right help when they need it
• keeping things calm, especially around exams

The rest of this guide is about how to do those four things.

Make it easier to start

Most studying doesn't fail because the work is too hard. It fails because it never properly starts. You can help with the parts around the work:

• A place that's set up for it. A table with good light, the right books and stationery, and as little noise as the house allows.
• Phones out of reach. Not as a punishment, just in another room during a study block. Agree on it together, rather than taking it away.
• Short, regular sessions. 45 minutes of real work with a short break is better than three distracted hours.
• Food and sleep. A proper meal and enough sleep do more for exam marks than a late night of cramming.

You don't have to supervise every session. Teenagers usually work better when they feel trusted, with a quiet check-in now and then.

Check in without quizzing them

A 17-year-old won't sit and explain their calculus to you, and asking them to can feel like an interrogation. Keep it short and practical instead:

• "What are you working on today?"
• "Which paper or test is next?"
• "Is there anything you need, like printing, a lift, or a quiet room?"
• "How did the last test go?"

The answers tell you a lot. A child who can name what they're working on usually has a plan. A child who says "just everything" or "nothing much" before a big exam may be stuck or overwhelmed.

If they want to talk about the work, listen, even if you don't follow it. Saying a problem out loud often helps them see where they went wrong.

Notice when they're stuck

You don't need to understand the work to spot that something is wrong. Watch for:

• the same subject always being left for last, or avoided completely
• marks dropping in one subject while the others stay steady
• a lot of time spent "studying" with very little to show for it
• frustration, tears or anger around one particular subject
• comments like "I just don't get it" or "the teacher goes too fast"

Usually the problem is one topic, not the whole subject. In subjects like Maths and Physical Sciences, each topic builds on the one before, so a gap from earlier can make everything after it feel impossible.

What to do when they're stuck

1. Find the exact topic. Ask which section or chapter it is, or look at the test where marks were lost. "Trigonometry" is something you can fix; "Maths" isn't.
2. Talk to the teacher. A short message asking "which topic should my child focus on?" is often the most useful thing you can do. Teachers know where the gaps are.
3. Get a clear explanation of that one topic. This might be a tutor, a classmate who understands it, a video, or a short guide written for learners. The point is a simple, step-by-step explanation, not more of the same that didn't work in class.
4. Then practise. Past papers and their memos let them check their own answers, so they're not depending on you to mark them.

During exams: keep the routine simple

Exam weeks aren't the time for big new plans. The most useful things now are small and practical:

• Know the timetable. Put it on the fridge, with the subject, paper and time of each exam.
• Work back from each paper. The day before an exam is for that subject only, and for going over what they already know, not learning new work.
• Protect sleep. Especially the night before a paper. A rested learner thinks faster and makes fewer careless mistakes.
• Keep exam mornings calm. Breakfast, everything packed the night before, leave with time to spare.
• Don't do a post-mortem. After a paper, ask how they feel, not what they got wrong. That paper is done; the next one is what matters.

Look after the stress (theirs and yours)

Exam season is stressful for the whole house, and teenagers pick up on their parents' worry quickly.

• Praise the effort, not just the marks. "I can see you've been working hard" goes further than "you'd better do well".
• Don't compare. Not with siblings, cousins or the neighbour's child.
• Keep some normal. A meal together or a short walk is not time wasted. It helps them come back to the work clearer.
• Watch your own nerves. If you're anxious, try not to make it their problem the night before a paper.
• Take real distress seriously. If your child seems overwhelmed for a long time, isn't sleeping or eating, or talks about giving up, speak to the school counsellor or your doctor. That matters more than any exam.

Where our cheat sheets come in

Our cheat sheets are designed for learners who are struggling with a subject. Each one takes a single topic and breaks it down step by step, with clear graphics, worked examples and the mistakes to avoid, in plain words a learner can follow on their own. So when you've found the topic that's causing the trouble, there's a clear explanation of exactly that, and you don't have to be the one who explains it.

Have a look at our cheat sheets, or start with a free one. If your child is in Grade 12, our guide on how to study for Grade 12 Maths shows where the marks are and how to revise.

Questions parents ask